Sunday, March 15, 2015
Why we cheat on our spouses – Abuja residents
Some married people in Abuja on Wednesday identified the need for material possession as the major reason for infidelity among married couples.
Respondents in separate interviews also mentioned the desire to satisfy emotional needs as another contributory factor.
Mr Johnson Eze, a civil servant, said he was cheating on his wife not because he loved her less but for the sole purpose of “catching some fun’’.
He said: “My marriage is one of the best because my wife, who is God-given, is an understanding woman and she tolerates me a lot.
“Yet, I still find myself cheating on her just for the fun of it. This does not in any way diminish the love I have for her and my lovely kids.
“I recall an incident that happened some time ago. I told my wife that I was travelling to Calabar for an official assignment, but ended up with my girlfriend in a hotel, and she found out.
“The incident almost destroyed my home but thanks to God my wife was able to forgive and forget put the ugly incident behind, ‘’ he said.
Eze, who described infidelity as `a careless act,’ advised men to desist from it.
A female boutique operator, who pleaded anonymity, said the desire to keep up with the latest fashion trend made her to cheat on her husband.
According to her, the husband, a low income earner, was financially incapable of meeting her insatiable material needs.
“Besides, my hubby and I fight over things that are not relevant and I lie to him most times to raise extra cash to buy something, which he considers unnecessary.
“I have not been faithful in my marriage because of the temptation to stay on top of the fashion trend which is way beyond the financial capacity of my husband.
“Besides the extra cash my boyfriend gives me, whenever I want to collect money from my husband for food stuff and other basic necessities I always double the cost.
“This has become a habit for me and whenever I don’t get my share in any shopping I do on behalf of the family, I get angry and pick on my husband at any little provocation, ‘’ she added.
A legal practitioner who offered a coined name – Mr Kosi Chiemela – blamed his adulterous actions on lack of intimacy, emotional disconnection and lack of friendship with his wife.
Chiemela who described marriage as “one difficult school you cannot graduate from till you die,’’ stated that the only way to escape was to stay single.
“I am a temperamental person and when I newly got married, it was not easy for my wife whose temper is also short.
“Both of us hardly agree on anything and the only escape route for me is to seek love and affection elsewhere.
“My girlfriend understands me and she tolerates a lot, unlike my wife who blows up like a bomb at the slightest provocation,’’ he said. (NAN)